P.A.V.E. DEVOTIONALS

© Copyright Reserved   March 11th 2010

by Danny B. Smith, Purple Ark Ministries

My Mother Was Precious

"Facing your pains with the heart of God"

John 15: 9-15 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

I believe that men who have survived childhood abuse genuinely want to resolve the memories that still lives in their minds and heart. It is hard to face those moments that have taken so much from you. My Devotional is about facing your pains with the heart of God.

In a recent trip to the east coast, I spoke with an good friend of my mothers' who was an overseer at Missionary Baptist Church in Orrum, North Carolina; she was being prepared for open heart surgery.

I had orignally made a phone call to speak with a pastor friend and the next thing I knew, everything changed.  The pastor said to me,  "I have someone I want you to speak with".  I knew by the Spirit that I was to pray for this beautiful soul, and I did. This quiet still voice that I listened to was so brave and pleasant to talk to. I could see why my mother would call her friend. I knew even then that this woman from my past childhood had a message to give me about forgiveness and love. In a single gesture of compassion, I felt my mother's unknown suffering spill into my heart.   My friend who I knew now as a pastor was assisting the overseer from the Missionary Baptist Church, she asked me by the Spirit, if I would preach at the overseer's church.   "Knowing God was directing everything that was happening, I said, yes"!.

The message that the Lord would put on my heart was from the third chapter of Hosea, it was a message about loving again the ones who have hurt us. I still did not see the full picture from God at first.   I did not know that there was a message in the sermon that would speak through me until I began to really listen.

In the days that passed, I prayed for my mother's friend who was now recovering from her open heart surgery.

I shared with excitement that the service was great and that I had talk about my childhood as part of the message!  As the overseer spoke to me, her words touch my heart again when said, “She did the best she knew how”, and I felt the words grabbing my chest., “Had I failed to see the very message that I had preached”?

Truly, I had deep memories of the poverty of my youth, but did I lack the understanding and maturity of  the post trauma of my single mother's life struggle in raising children when she was still a child herself.

God has allowed me to mature in His love,  I now understand why it is so important to love with no exceptions.  I know see that my mother was doing the best she knew how, I now see that my mother was precious.

Dear Lord, thank you for your Holy Presence! I am still learning how to love with your heart. I am far from graduating from this classroom of unconditional compassion and love.  I do understand how important it is as You have loved us.  You have given me peace with my past and taught me to love again and respect what I was unable to see as a child. I love you Father with all my heart, thank you for loving me, thank you for keeping me safe, thank you for your lessons of love.

Your friend,

Danny

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